I haven’t been knitting too much the past few days. It’s been kind of weird, actually. Normally, I’m a pretty fidgety person, and have to be doing something when I’m sitting around watching TV, or I’ll get bored or fall asleep. There are a few exceptions–some shows require enough of my attention (Lost, Battlestar Galactica, episodes of the X-Files that I haven’t seen in a while) that I don’t grab anything complicated–but generally, I’m knitting. All the time. Constantly.

And the past few days…I haven’t been. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, but I haven’t felt the need to, like I’m going to spin off into distraction if I don’t have something to ground me. It’s very strange. Focus is not something I’m good at, but suddenly it’s a lot easier. I guess maybe Tom Cruise was on to something, because the only thing I’ve changed is to start taking vitamins. I’ve been taking iron and B-complex supplements, and I’ve also tried to work in thyroid support herbs but I keep forgetting to take those.  It’s really astonishing. I noticed a big jump in my ability to focus when I cut out dairy, but in retrospect I think that was more about the lack of paralyzing anxiety than it was about actual focus. It’s amazing how much more clearly you think when you’re not going over a list of all the things you did wrong in your life/every time you’ve been embarrassed (ever)/reasons why you suck every waking minute of your life.

But this? This is unreal. Last night, I was watching Gilmore Girls, and I just…watched. No yarn.  No book. No sketchbook.  This morning, I decided to do some studying before work, and managed to get through some math problems without getting distracted, frustrated, or mixing up all the numbers.  It’s kind of bizarre, actually. I’m sure I’ll pick up a lot of the twitchy behaviors, just out of habit, not to mention the fact that I do enjoy knitting and watching TV, plus it’s an efficient use of time. But it is nice to know that I can manage to watch a movie without annoying everyone around me with my fidgeting.

The only downside is the decrease in my knitting productivity. I must motivate myself to keep working on things so they actually get finished!
Tarot Card of the Day: The Emperor