This Saturday I happened to be early for ritual, and decided to sneak down to the creek below (CAYA holds many of it’s rituals in a yoga studio in Berkeley; it’s on the second floor of the building, but there is a small patch of grass next to a creek next to the first floor of the building) and ran around barefoot on the grass, listening to the water.
It felt so good, so connected, the cool grass against the bottom of my feet, the sound of water, the fresh air. I realize that more and more, this is the type of thing I’m missing.
Growing up, I always wanted to live in the city. I was in a very sprawling, suburban type area; although it was technically in a city, you couldn’t walk to anything. Even if something had been close enough, there were no sidewalks. I hated it. I hated that I never got to see my friends without planning it in advance, I hated that I couldn’t go anywhere without my parents, I couldn’t get away and be by myself if I wanted. It wasn’t even that I wanted to do anything I wasnt supposed to; I just wanted to be able to go and do something without having a thirty minute conversation about it.
But now I’m here, in a city…and I’m beginning to think that maybe I wasn’t right about that, either. I love the convenience, yes, but I sometimes wonder if the things I like wouldn’t also exist in a small town. I like walking to things, I like being able to get place easily. But I miss the outdoors. I miss grass and walking around barefoot (which, okay, I’ve done an Oakland sidewalk but I was kind of terrified of what I’d walked on once I thought about it) and room to grow things, and have animals. I want to be able to smell fresh air and hear nature instead of smelling whatever is wafting from my neighbor’s house–be it illegal substances or whatever they’re cooking for dinner–and hearing sirens. I feel hemmed in and crowded and anxious.
Then I wonder–is it really the place that matters? Or is it just the pace of life? Crazy though it is, I think about what it would be like to have the kind of culture that moved slower. That allowed time for the things you love, and talking with friends, and just being, without feeling like it’s a waste of time. I’m at the point of practically scheduling my hobbies to get things done. It’s crazy, and at the same time I don’t want to give anything up. Perhaps that’s selfish, but the very things I could afford to give up, the things that I don’t have to do, are the very things keeping me sane.
I don’t know; maybe this is where I’m supposed to be. Maybe it isn’t? But how do you really know? And how do you change it if you’re wrong?
Hello, my name is Ivy, and I’m addicted to making mitered square blankets.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Shelly Kang’s Sock Yarn Blankie, I encourage you to go check it out and be amazed. The entire blanket is knit in tiny squares, using sock yarn on small needles. (For the non knitters amongst you, imagine knitting on needles slightly larger than toothpicks. And then making a blanket. Yeah. That.)
Somehow….and I’m not quite sure how…I wound up working on 3 of these simultaneously.
No, I’m not sane.
In my defense, one is a clearly defined long-term project. It only uses scraps from socks I’ve knit. The other two are less restricted; one is knit in bulky weight and one will be using mill ends, mini skeins, yarn bought just for the blankie, and swapped yarn thanks to the lovely folks at the Blankie Mania group on Ravelry. Enablers, the lot of you.
Because of this, I maybe made a stop at Article Pract yesterday after work.
From the back, that’s Lorna’s Laces in Satsuma, Shibui Stacatto in Spring Garden, and Colinette Jitterbug in Alizarine. The Lorna’s Laces and Colinette are for swaps, and the Shibui is just for me. Because I like it, and it feels like spring. I probably should have got enough to make a pair of socks–and am sure I will, eventually–but didn’t right now.
I then wound up all the yarn into nice little cakes. And promptly hit a wall. For my kitchen scale does not actually measure in small enough incriments to divide the yarn into 5 gram mini skeins. I’m working on getting a new scale, and hopefully will be able to borrow one in the meantime, so that I can get these off. Then, I shall recieve a great bounty of mini skeins and the blanket shall grow!
If you’re in the Oakland/Berkeley area, Ghost Town farms is holding an open house this Sunday. I didn’t realize how close this is to me–I can walk there–so I’m definitely planning on checking it out. Maybe I’ll even try biking. (Or not. I do want to get there alive.)
The Pioneer Woman has this recipe for flower pot ice cream cakes. They are adorable in a women-who-lunch, tea party, I clipped the recipe from Women’s Day kind of way. And you know what? I still want to make them. SO THERE.
Turning the Wheel talks about the benefits of a shorter work week. Turns out? It’s not only better for productivity and individuals, it’s also better for communities as a whole. So why are we all still working 40+ hour weeks?
So, this morning Obama is signing the new health care bill. I, for one, am quite happy about this. Is the bill perfect? No. Is it what I’d call ideal? No. I’d love nothing more than to see universal health care, like pretty much every developed country in the rest of the world has, but we’re not there yet. I do think this is a step in the right direction. There will be help for people who can’t afford insurance, but even more happily, insurers will not be able to deny coverage for pre-existing conditions, drop coverage if someone gets sick, or cap lifetime benefits.
So naturally, the Republican party is busy pitching the hissyfit to end all hissyfits and stamping their feet about repealing the bill because it’s not the will of the American people. And that’s what pisses me off. You want to say you want to repeal the bill because it’s not the will of the Republican voters? Be my guest. But I’m also an American, and I DO want this bill. I want it as a first step on a long road towards ensuring decent health care for all people in this country. So stop saying it’s not my will–because it is.
I promised that I would be back to the blogging world this week, after an insanely busy couple of weeks (and weekends, which are usually when the pictures get taken and the bulk of the blogs get written) but alas I woke up this morning with a sinus headache so bad it jolted me out of a sound sleep at 5 am. After trying to hold as still as I could for the next few hours and not cry (because that would hurt even worse) I finally rejoined the living in time to work–from home at least, which is for the best, becaue I don’t think I could have handled the commute. Several cups of tea, painkillers, a steaming shower, and the purchase of a neti pot (yes, I’m apparently one of those people now) I can at least pass as a presentable human. But it doesn’t make for much blogging. So instead, I am going to eat bread pudding for dinner, continue cleaning my apartment in an attempt to live like an actual grown up, and give up on providing you with any actual content.
On the other hand, the cleaning means going through things, which means a yarn-y give away in the near future! So stay tuned for that, knitterly types!
One thing you should know about me: I like TV. Good TV, yes, not that reality TV crap that has invaded the airwaves, but quality shows. Or, failing that, something involving lots of pretty people fighting crime with lots of weapons. What can I say, we all have our guilty pleasures. Aside from really enjoying TV, it’s a also a convenient backdrop to knitting/sewing/crafting of various sorts.
However, owing to the rise in aforementioned reality TV crap, there’s been less and less good TV on actual TV. Especially for those of us who don’t spring for the HBO/Showtime deals. So I watch a lot of DVDs, and Netflix is a very good friend to me. Recently, I decided to check out Big Love.
I’m only a few episodes in, but so far I’m a fan. It’s already brewing some interesting thoughts in my head. One of the things I’ve found most interesting is the conflicting emotions the show has brought up.
On the one hand, I’m horrified. Polygamy, particularly as practiced by fundamental religions, is an unequal power structure that leaves women subject to the man. They, of course, can’t have multiple partners, and to varying degrees are dependent on the man. (Please note: I do not take issue with polyamory, where all involved can have multiple partners if they wish, and which typically isn’t wrapped into the wives-be-subject-to-your-husband rhetoric. I’m not sure I could do that, but I also don’t think it’s something I’d ever consider to be totally off the table, either.) And again, the religious philosophies that show up on the show are not exactly my cup of tea.
On the other hand–there’s something kind of appealing there. The three houses, with the families that can go back and forth at will. Women working together to take care of things. Having someone there, close by, to lend a hand or talk to. Family dinners with lots of people. And a quick scan of the internet tells me I’m not the only one who feels this way. I wonder if there isn’t something about this that’s tapping into what seems like a deep current of loneliness under the surface of our culture that is beginning to be harder to ignore.
It’s not that people don’t have friends–but is that enough? Are friendships more superficial? And were so spread out, that how realistic is it to just drop by and lend a hand? We’re all so busy and over-scheduled, how do you get people together for dinner, or just drop by for a chat or a cup of coffee? To do this by yourself…get up, go to work, come home, take care of the house or more likely pass out out in front of the TV…is this it? Makes me wonder if we haven’t just gone the wrong direction with some things.
A really long group of links this week. Hope you find some of this interesting (do you? please, let me know!) and if you stick with it until the end, I promise you some hilarity for a good cause.
The New York Time Magazine has an interesting look at building a better teacher. Really fascinating. (Fun fact: I actually seriously considered being a teacher at several points in my life. Then realized I’d kind of suck at it. I lack patience.)
Can consumers wait for healthcare reform? Not really. And, seriously, the fact that anyone thinks it’s acceptable that health insurers can deny care if you’ve ever been sick or drop you if you have the audacity to become ill after paying into your policy for years is just sickening.
Eco-Geeks
Have you heard of A Month Without Monsanto? A woman attempts to go a month without using any GMO products from Monsanto. She’s got a lot of resources for what’s GMO free, if you’re looking to change your own diet, too.
Peak Oil Hausfrau has an interesting look at magical thinking and the tyranny of positive thinking. This was an interesting read, though I’m still not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I do think there is a lot of power in the way you think and interact with the world; on the other I agree with some of the points made in her blog and the links she incldues, that this expectation that people be positive and happy all the time isn’t helpful or productive.
